It's not my final goal, but for the past several months, my body has decided this is where it is staying. And I'm okay with that.
I started the month of June at 172.6 pounds. I didn't count a single calorie all month, and started July at 173. For July, I was really careful with my counting and ended the month at 171.8. I decided that if I can maintain this current weight around 170-173 WITHOUT counting calories, then I'm going to be okay at this weight for awhile.
I can't believe I'm posting this picture. But the thing is, when I look in the mirror - a lot of times, I still see the girl on the left. It's a strange thing.
I think I need to learn to be okay here.
I'm not 250 pounds anymore.
This realization hits me when I go clothes shopping. I was in Old Navy the other day and my dressing room was full of pants in size 8 or 10, and shirts that were Mediums. When you've spent most of your life over 200 pounds, it's not easy to shift your brain to see a size 8 staring back at you in the mirror.
Yes, I still have some weight I'd like to lose. But I also would like to allow my body (and mind) to get used to where it is now. I'm training for 2 big races in the Fall and I want to focus on that, not on calorie counting.
I don't really know what the point to this post is, but I guess it's just a reminder to myself to be happy where I am, and stop wishing I was somewhere else! I eat in freedom now, I actually love working out, I sleep better, I have more energy, I've made amazing friendships, I am stronger - those are all successes that have nothing to do with a number on the scale!