Tuesday, March 29, 2011
This week I cancelled my eHarmony and Match.com subscriptions. (yes - I subscribed to BOTH. don't judge!)
A mix of things brought it on, but mostly I just feel weary of it. This sounds funny to say I am "tired" of online dating, especially since I have only gone on a whopping 2 (unsuccessful) dates since this summer. The thing that makes me weary is having to look through the profiles of people and just get discouraged that none of them seem to say what I'm really looking for.
I've also been thinking about dating in general the past few weeks as I've been evaluating my prayer life. A funny thing happened a few weeks ago. I was thinking to myself that I need to stop praying this type of prayer: "God, I know that You know the desire of my heart is to be married again and have a family. And if that's Your will, it will happen...but if it's not, then just give me the strength to get through." That prayer is starting to sound to me more like a prayer of "well, you know what I want God but You're probably not going to make it happen so can You just make me not feel crummy?"
I decided I need to step out in faith and pray those "big, bold" prayers I keep hearing other people talk about. You know the kind where you pray for something major and specific...like oh, maybe you pray for a friend to get a baby through adoption before she goes back to work in the Fall? Oh wait - we did do that. Heehee. Anyway, just a few days after I started thinking this way, my friend Cindy told me how she had been praying boldly for me in my "man hunt" (ahahaha!) recently. Then, my pastor's wife Elaine said she had been praying the same things. Ok...now we're on to something!
So this past week it has occurred to me that the reason I signed up for these online dating things is because I felt like I'd never meet anyone in my "real life". I teach elementary school and attend a church of about 80-100 people...almost all of whom are married. I signed up for online dating because honestly - I felt like maybe I needed to "help God" find me a man. Really? Help God? I know, I know...what a ridiculous notion!
All of those things combined led me to the decision to just close all the online dating things and start boldly going before the Throne. And, in case you're wondering what's included in my list of 'ideal man qualities':
-loves Jesus. Not just says he does, or says he believes in God - but is out pursuing this awesome God!
-is taller than me. (Shallow...perhaps...but I just can't get over this one)
-loves to laugh
-wants a family
-has a stable job
-lives in the area (Cindy and Elaine would also add: willing to come to Renew Community Church heehee)
-ruggedly good looking (hey, if I'm asking - I'm going to go for it!)
I humbly ask if you'd pray for me too. It is hard to get a glimpse of what life is like with a "someone" and then be single again. It's frustrating to have such a strong desire to be a wife and a mom. But, it's also exciting to know that when God is involved - big things happen in awesome and unexpected ways...and I can't wait to see what He does!