Monday, January 31, 2011

The Time is Here

I'm feeling pretty anti-winter this year.  I normally love a good snow day and get the warm fuzzies staring out the window at the falling snow.  This year, however, I'm dreaming of Spring.  I'm ready for sunshine and warm breezes, driving with the windows opening and watching my daffodils bloom.

It's not because I just suddenly hate winter.  It's because I wish I could press the fast forward button on life and skip right by the next month.

A year ago today, I wrote a post that I titled "Heartbreak".  I wrote about the change in my house and in the change in my Isaac.  It was this time last year that my dining room went from a this:

To this: 

It was the time of year when Isaac went from his usual self to this groggy, loopy person who was unable to take of himself.  

I've been typing this blog for about a week now but I only can manage a few words each time.  There are so many different emotions swirling around me right now.  One minute I'm fine, the next I'm crying.  I don't miss sleeping on an air mattress, getting little sleep, listening to an oxygen compressor, changing adult diapers, administering medications, and asking Isaac how bad the pain is.  I wouldn't go back to this time last year.  I wouldn't ask Isaac to go through any of that again, especially not knowing now that he is in Heaven!  I just miss him.  I wish I could've been there to see his face when he entered Heaven for the first time.  I am sure he'll be the first one there to see the look on my face when I do finally get there!!  

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2 comments:

  1. I just wanted you to know that I understand those feeling all too well as I feel them more and more as the days pass. You aren’t alone. I am here for you. Always. Please reach out if you need a friend who thoroughly understands.

    With heartfelt love,

    Amy

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  2. Feb & March are going to be for me what this past month has been for you. I understand the pain that you go through so please lean on me if you need to chat. Sending big hugs and lots of love!! XOXO

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